Now for those of you who read my posts you may have noticed one of the things I like to do is talk about anime. It’s not the only thing I talk about on here, but it’s a big one. Another thing I like to do from time to time is be negative and this is obviously one of those times. This post is fairly simple and I called it: “Anime Characters That Ought to Be Killed”.
Note: While I genuinely dislike every single character I listed, this post was made to be a comedy and thus shouldn’t be taken TOO seriously. The reason I’m typing this is for you anime nerds. Because if your favorite character is on this list, hopefully this little note should prevent you from bitching. Okay? Okay! You can expect spoilers here.
Honorable/Obvious Mention: Shou Tucker
I’m going to exclude this POS from the list because he would be an obvious choice. Too obvious of a choice. Indeed, just about any Fullmetal Alchemist fan hates his guts and I’m one of them. He used his own wife, daughter and dog to keep his job, I don’t think there’s anything else I need to say.
Here’s one anime character that deserves to ride his bicycle, have the wheel fall off and then proceed to tumble down a cliff and have his whole body explode for no reason. One of the biggest reasons I’m not a fan of Sword Art Online is because of this guy. I used to call him “butterfly guy” before I just Googled his name. I really don’t care for villains that give a “Hahahahaha! I’m evil just because I’m evil!” vibe. Can’t antagonists have disagreeable, but at least somewhat understandable reasons for doing what they do? His goal is to molest a pretty young woman who’s in a coma. That over obtaining money, which I would assume is in the millions. Yeah, yeah, Asuna’s a fine piece of ass (even though her character sucks, but at least she’s nice to look at), but most guys wouldn’t mind being millionaires if given the chance. It’s also funny that Asuna’s parents were planning to have her marry the guy. I mean, she was in a coma for Ganesha sake! Adding insult to injury, his incompetence is so laughable he’s literally a disgrace to all fictional villains everywhere.
Here’s another anime character that should be locked in a portable toilet while someone kicks it down a high hill with someone else at the end of the hill waiting to set it on fire. Most watchers have accused Kirito of being a “Gary Stu” and while I can see their reasons for labeling him as one, he’s more of a “depressed bitch” if you asked me. The first and second season have tried (and failed) to create trauma for the character, but it just comes off as a corny attempt to make him a darker character. His supposed traumas are never explored in any depth and are forgotten about as quickly as they are mentioned. Kirito also suffers from having no personality whatsoever. What I mean by this is the author doesn’t seem to know what they want Kirito to be. Is he a dark anti-hero or a goofball who happens to be great at video games? I don’t know. I also remember some of Kirito’s abilities being completely forgotten later on. What happened to the health recovery thingy which would have come in handy a number of times? It’s pretty dumb he has a girlfriend (Asuna) and I’m sure by the time the events of Sword Art Online II start to unfold they had to have been dating for at least a couple of years. Yet, they don’t dare to show physical affection in the real world. They’ve kissed and even had a virtual family in Sword Art Online so why are they unable or unwilling to do it in real life? To talk about SAO is to talk about its flaws and Kirito is one of them.
The first (but not last) female character who should be trapped upside down in a rolled-up gym mat at her high school gymnasium. Pink is the color of life, live forever. Unfortunately, Charles Hamilton’s song about my favorite color can’t save Momo from being on this list. This hoe started out alright, she was nothing special from them the get-go, but she got progressively annoying as the series went on. Also, cannot stand clingy bitches. All she really wants to do is bang the main protagonist, I’m not saying wanting to have sex with someone is a bad thing, but her “Harem Plan” comes off as self serving and Based God knows how I feel about self serving pricks. I usually don’t mind people having their favorite stuff and all, but if Momo is your favorite girl or waifu, you’re on some whack sauce!
Kirino and Kyouske
True love has never been so disgusting. A duo of grade A morons who deserve to be eaten alive by Pennywise the Clown. Do I dislike Kirino because I’m on #TeamRuri? Maybe. I can’t ignore my possible bias. Honestly, the only reason both are on here is because of the poorly written ending. Personally, I don’t care for incest, I think it’s weird (not the good kind of weird, mind you), but it doesn’t disturb me in the least. Anyone remember the blog post I did about burning bridges? Kyouske does exactly that with every girl, so he can marry his sister? Okay, fine. But then they both decide not to pursue a relationship and go back to being “normal siblings”. So now we’re back to where we started, but worse because now Kyouske can’t repair his relationships. Congrats! It was also Kirino who had the bright idea of going back to “normal siblings” after the fiasco. So what was the point of it all?
I saved the best (or is it worst?) for last. Here’s a character that deserves to be beaten with a sledgehammer and left bleeding in the moonlight. An isolated teenager who bemoans the fact his peers and friends aren’t into French literature or something of that nature. Meh, if you want to feel like an isolated teenager just be Chris (Everybody Hates Chris) who went to an all white school. Anyway, he has a crush on Saeki and considers her to be his “femme fatale”. One day, Kasuga decides to impulsively steal Saeki’s gym clothes and bring them home, but he is caught by the antisocial stalker and outcast named Nakamura. Kasuga feels guilty over stealing the underwear and allows himself to be blackmailed by Nakamura and is forced to do outrageous deeds in order to prevent Saeki from finding out. Because the events of the story are coming back to me as I’m typing this, the plot starts to feel more like a comedy, but tries to portray itself as serious business! Kasuga’s guilt over stealing panties, but acts like he just murdered Saeki’s family is so absurd it is impossible to take seriously! Kasuga is easy to manipulate, emotionally unstable and weak minded. Because of this it’s easy for Nakamura or anyone to take full advantage of him.
And this is my list of anime characters that ought to be killed. As you can see I’m not a really hateful person so there’s not a lot of anime characters I dislike. As great as anime can be, there have been a fair share of terrible anime characters. There are other characters that are universally hated that didn’t make my list (Sakura, Nina Einstein, Near etc.), but I do hope you found this list to be entertaining or at least readable lol.