Here on my blog I like to be an open book. I feel that I have nothing to hide and due to my candidness I think whether you’re following this blog or you’re someone I’m close to you’ll be able to witness every moment of my life. From my greatest triumphs to my wretched errors. My life is a story and I’m the writer. I’m not the only character here though, there are a lot of characters who have contributed to my book. Some of them I still keep in contact with, some are far away and some are going to Heaven. I’m 22 chapters in and I don’t know when the story will end, but I got to keep adding pages until the day comes.
Today, I’d like to talk about someone in the family. Someone who will be here before I know it. Someone who will be writing her own story soon enough. My niece, Reiina. First off, I want to tell you I love you. Your mom… describing her as excited is probably an understatement. She talks about you daily and I never thought I’d see the day when she would give birth to another human being.
I truly hope I can be a part of your life and watch you grow up into the wonderful, smart, kindhearted woman you are destined to be. If not, then I want to share with you the best lesson I’ve learned in my 22 years. You know my biggest regret in life is that my grandma didn’t have the chance to watch my brother, sister and I grow up. It hurts because I wish she could be here with us to know she’s going to be a great-grandma!
My brother talked about how he’s scared of you being brought into this world. At first, I thought he was just being cynical. But when I thought about it more, I realized you’re going to be a BLACK WOMAN. What this means is there are going to be pieces of shits who are automatically going to hate you because of your skin color and gender. Not only that, but you’re going to live in a country (America) which has an expansive history of racism (and the south of all places). We may not be living in a time where scum can freely lynch us, but racism is still a force in this country and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is spewing lies.
And about you being a woman, the thing is, I’m not a woman so I can’t say anything about discrimination I’ve experienced regarding this aspect. Just like black people, women have made huge advances over the past decades, but there is still more work to be done. Women still make less than men and more high level positions are still run by guys. I also hope you don’t fall into the trap society pressures people (especially women) into thinking. You CAN be happy without being in a relationship or having kids. Society has a pro-marriage and natalist attitude. I’m not sure why either, this world is already overpopulated which makes it impossible to improve the conditions of everyone because we don’t have the resources and abilities to do so. And because society has pressured people into being in romantic relationships there are people who settle all because they don’t want to be alone. Remember, your value as a human being is not defined on who you’re with or how many kids you have. You give yourself value, no one else, so don’t depend on anyone to give it to you! I’m not saying you shouldn’t get married or have kids, if you want to that’s fine as long as it’s something YOU truly want to do.
Now if there is anything and I mean ANYTHING you ever learn from me I hope it is this: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Such a simple quote, but it has a deep meaning. And as long as you know it, every possible problem won’t be something you can’t handle. I even have a poem written for you so you know I’m emphasizing the hell out of this! Don’t let anyone: strangers, friends, me, your parents, your grandpa (especially him), lovers, etc. tell you you can’t do something. You will know what you’re capable of and if you don’t believe in yourself, who will? It took me a long time to figure it out and because of that I’ve been used, abused, betrayed, belittled and almost killed myself. Sure, I say better late than never, but everyone is different. I don’t know how you will react to situations, but I truly believe if you learn this at an early age then the only person who will be able to stop you is the one in the mirror! The world won’t be able to handle you because you will be able to obliterate any and everything it throws at you!
With all my heart,
P.S. Just because we live in a broken world, doesn’t mean there isn’t any beauty in it. There are people who have good intentions and wonderful things happening every day. Believe in yourself!